Six easy ways to be a great Birthday Person

I’m writing this on my birthday, basking in the glow of cookies I just baked. For the sake of radical transparency, I am 38 years old — and I don’t look a day over 38 years old.

I am also here to admit that I am a type that many find insufferable: I am a Birthday Person. It is often frowned upon to be a Birthday Person after the age of 21, unless it is a milestone. There’s a lot of eye-rolling at Birthday People and a presumption that the birthday boy or girl simply needs attention. And that may be somewhat true! (In my defense, if the good lord didn’t want people to notice me, he would not have given me this hair and made me this loud!) But I think there is actually a virtuous side to being a Birthday Person: We just want an excuse to have a good time.

If you are thinking of becoming a Birthday Person or are ready to finally admit you are, in fact, a Birthday Person, I have come up with six ways to be a good and fun birthday person. There are certainly annoying Birthday People, and that gives us all a bad name. So here’s my abbreviated guide to doing it the right-ish way.

1. Set zero expectations. A birthday is not the time to have expectations, whether silent or spoken. If you expect to hear from certain people or have particular gifts rained upon you, that is a spectacular way to set yourself up for disappointment. You must remember that while it may be your special day, it is just another random Monday for most anyone else.

2. Make the plans yourself. Unless your partner/best friends/mother/children/parole officer really insists otherwise, you should come up with what to do for your birthday. This really helps to negate point No. 1. Are you afraid you won’t like the restaurant someone else might pick? You won’t find yourself glaring at a rubbery plate of chicken if you made your own reservation!

3. It is OK to throw your own party. This might seem like a particularly self-centered choice, but a birthday is a great excuse to get the gang together. The Atlantic ran a piece back in January that my friends and I love to reference: “Americans Need to Party More.” In it, writer Ellen Cushing implores readers to throw more parties, citing Bureau of Labor Statistics that found only 4.1 percent of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023. She also quoted figures from a 2023 YouGov poll that showed 84 percent of Americans enjoy birthday parties — but only 59 percent had attended one in the previous year. That means throwing your own birthday party is a civic duty: You are helping your fellow American socialize. “Everyone wants to attend parties, but no one wants to throw them,” Cushing writes. “We just expect them to appear when we need them, like fire trucks.” Well WHEE WOO, WHEE WOO, homies. Here comes the party engine!!!

4. Have a special little birthday tradition. About four years ago, I decided that champagne and French fries would be my annual birthday thing. This is based off of a menu offering at Sylvain in the French Quarter of New Orleans, and it’s such a fun treat. It’s also easy enough to procure a glass of something sparkling with a basket of fries almost anywhere, so it’s a sure thing to bank on each year. Plus, I am perfectly content making it happen solo or asking some pals to join. I can’t recommend it enough: a simple, special pleasure that you can bank on each year.

5. Look at your horoscope. You do not need to be an astrology head to enjoy a birthday horoscope read. It’s just a goofy-fun way to frame your day or maybe even the year ahead. Mine is below, and I’m letting it serve as validation for all the foolishness I get myself into this year.

   

   This means I should buy a fur hat, I’m certain of it!!!

6. Do a simple birthday questionnaire. About three years ago, I was introduced to three birthday questions that I love to ask others on their birthday and also answer myself: 1.) What are you most proud of from the past year? 2.) What do you hope to leave behind from the past year? And 3.) what do you hope to bring into the year ahead? It doesn’t have to be deep! But it’s a nice way to do a little recap with a splash of intention-setting. Me? I’m trying to hate with greater nuance and panache in the year to come. 

That’s it! I fly my Birthday Person flag proudly and I hope you can, too. A birthday is simply an opportunity to make what could be a boring old day a little more fun. And if you didn’t get a chance to get me anything, feel free to upgrade to paid!!!