Soup is not a summer meal

Three years ago, Dave and I were at the lake on a hot day and he announced he would be going home to enjoy a bowl of soup. I immediately clocked him as insane, called him Ted Bundy in the article I was inspired to write soon after, then eventually — if we fast forward a bit here — I decided to date and subsequently live with this serial killer.

In honor of his birthday today, I have decided to dig a little deeper into the chaotic world of his mind to better understand why anyone could ever crave soup in the summer. I asked him to make us soup so we could discuss the matter on one of our recent 90-degree days. The following is our conversation, edited for length and sanity.

Sarah: Could you tell the readers what's in the soup?

Dave: So we have five ears of corn. We have shallots, minced garlic, minced ginger, two serrano chilies, coconut milk, couple tablespoons of sour cream to add thickness to it, vegetable broth and cilantro. (Recipe here, freaks.)

Sarah: So this is a summer soup, wouldn’t you say?

Dave: Sure. I mean, soup is year round.

Sarah: I only say that because this doesn't taste as heavy as some of the soups that I feel like you tend to eat in the summer, like your chicken noodles and your—

Dave: You think that chicken noodle is heavier?

Sarah: I mean, like heavy flavors, strong flavors, robust.

Dave: I mean, the random one I made you (Referring to a past soup he made with gnocchi, potatoes, bacon, etc.)…

Sarah: It was on the heavy side. It was delicious, yeah.

Dave: But your debate about hot soups in summertime, I can guarantee you would eat that every single time I made it, even on the hottest day.

Sarah: It’s not like I wouldn’t eat it if you made it. I just don't ever crave soup in the summer. 

Dave: Well, there's lots of things you don't crave. You don't crave Italian food.

Sarah: Do you not have seasonal cravings?

Dave: If anything's accessible at any time, I'll eat it.

Sarah: So my theory — I've thought about this actually — is that because you're from Southern California and you didn't have seasons in your life until your 30s, that you never had an opportunity to equate certain foods with certain seasons.

Dave: Well, I don't know if there's anything that, since moving here, that I enjoy more in wintertime or fall.

Sarah: I'm saying your childhood was wrong, in terms of understanding what foods go with what time of year. Like when I've seen you make, say, a mushroom cream sauce with chicken, for example, in the summer: that seems wrong. That, to me, is a winter meal.

Dave: But why does it have to be a winter meal? 

Sarah: Because it's something that feels like it's hearty.

Dave: So in summertime, you don't eat anything hearty?

Sarah: Not in the sense where I'm, like, trying to have something that's gonna stick to my bones.

Dave: What's the difference between that and like a double cheeseburger that you'll eat in the summer?

Sarah: That's an anytime food. There are anytime foods, but then there are also seasonal foods. 

Dave: But how does that not stick to your bones? This is where we disagree: You’re putting limitations on times to eat food.

Sarah: But don't you also have, like, albums that only seem to make sense at certain times of the year?

Dave: Sure, Charlie Brown Christmas. I won't play that in June.

Sarah: But like, I wouldn't want to necessarily listen to, you know, yacht rock in the winter. That's not gonna work out for me. That feels wrong. 

Dave: One, you don't own any yacht rock.

Sarah: Yes, I do. Hall & Oates.

Dave: That's funny, because Hall & Oates hate that categorization.

Sarah: I know they do. That's not my problem, though. I didn't do that. I just don't know how we were able to be at the beach that one day when it was 400 degrees out and you're like, Mm, I'm gonna go home and have chicken noodle soup.

Dave: Again, because you're associating it with hot weather. But me, I'm eating it in my 72-degree apartment where it's nice and cold.

Sarah: Would you want a cup of tea in the summer?

Dave: Of hot tea? No, I only drink hot tea if I'm sick. I guess my thought process is: Is it a craving? And if I'm craving something, I'm not gonna wait six months to eat it. If I want ramen tomorrow, I'm gonna get it.

Sarah: I’m surprised that you could possibly crave something like that in the hot months. 

Dave: I mean, I don't program myself to limit myself to seasons.

Sarah: Mr. Unlimited. But hot liquid in particular: It's like you're gonna fill your body with more hot.

Dave: You don't eat just cold food during the summer. You eat hot food, probably percentage-wise, a lot more than you do cold food. 

Sarah: I don't know about that. With soup, though, it feels like it fills your body with more hot. It goes through all of your limbs, because of it being a liquid. Whereas, if I eat a hamburger, because that is a solid, it feels like a different situation entirely. (I have begun to spiral.) You just said that you only have tea when you're sick, so you're not gonna crave tea unless you're sick.

Dave: Yeah.

Sarah: I think the same idea works for me, where I would only have soup in the winter because I equate it with being a wintertime meal.

Dave: Yeah, I get it. I get it. There's a coziness to it and stuff like that. I get it.

Sarah: Back to my original argument: My theory is that, because you didn't have true winters in Southern California… 

Dave:  I don't think that's it.

Sarah: Do you think I can add a poll to my newsletter? 

Dave: I don't care what you do. Whatever you want. You can always do it on Instagram. Take a snapshot of it. 

(I CAN!!!)

Sarah: What other things do you think you're wrong about?

Dave: (exasperated) Probably everything.

Obviously, we got nowhere with this and I am still right: Certain foods belong to certain times of the year. I do not crave a BLT in the dead of winter, because I know it won’t slap in the same way that a BLT does when tomatoes are at their peak. The soup Dave made was good, but I also burned my tongue, which is yet another a feeling that I equate with winter because of hot tea or hot soup. It led to a very confusing evening for my body.

But what’s more important is that I have someone like Dave who can give new fuel to my hating soul — not usually because we disagree on something, but because he may be the only person more opinionated than I. There have been times we’ve been out in the world and spot something that we both just so happen to Have Feelings On. What a wonderful thing, to hate with the one you love.

Happy birthday to you, Dave!

(Also, he said the best gift he could receive is for you to either upgrade to paid or forward this newsletter to a friend. His words!!!)