What's IN/OUT this week

I know we’ve talked about how the youth are blind to parts of the not-so-distant past (landlines, for example). But do they also know that Galentine’s Day was only created in 2010 thanks to an episode of Parks and Recreation? Anyhow, Dave sent me one of those deliberately vague “studies show” Instagram posts about how the strongest couples don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. So, safe to assume I don’t have plans for either “made-up” holiday.

IN: A stellar headline. The actual story of the Norwegian Olympic biathlete using his post-race interview to talk about cheating on his girlfriend? Kind of amusing. But this headline in The Cut is poetry: “Give This Guy a Gold Medal in Having the Audacity.” OUT: As Dave asked me the other night, Do people still watch the Olympics? (Probably the same folks still celebrating Valentine’s Day, huh, Dave?) Add the Olympics to the top of the list of the shared cultural moments we’ve lost. Sure, the Norwegian cheater/Quad God/ski jumping crotch scandal are making headlines today, but they’ll probably be dashed from our collective memories in a week. Unlike the Great Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan Debacle of 1994.

IN: The witchcraft store. I’ve passed the Hexe Haus (great name) a few times but finally popped in during a recent Slow Saturday™. It’s filled with incense, herbs, books, stones, and (of course) a black cat. Shop small… or else. OUT: Buying anything from the witchcraft store. I don’t know how to explain this other than: I also wouldn’t feel comfortable walking into a Judaism store (is that a thing?) and purchasing a Torah on a whim. I considered picking up one of the spell candles to give as a gift but was struck with a deep sense of, Who am I to so casually buy magic?? The chance of being cursed or smited (smote?) because I splashed brazenly in someone else’s spiritual pool felt a little too high.

IN: False spring. I know these warmer temperatures are a lie, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy them. I’ve felt like a horrible dog owner the last month or so, unable to walk Dottie more than a few blocks at a time. This week I’ve tried to make it up to her as best as I can. Her muddy-ass paws are my penance. OUT: Texting me photos of a gorgeous, warm day in Mexico, JOAN. (Imagine being one of my beloved paid newsletter subscribers and being put on blast in said newsletter.)

IN: Shrimpmaster. Also during Slow Saturday™ (I’ll explain this eventually), I ran across the Shrimpmaster tool in a vintage shop. I didn’t bother to figure out what it does, exactly, and who really cares. After I walked away I heard another shopper quietly say, “Shrimpmaster.” Imagine what he could’ve summoned by whispering that in the Hexe Haus. OUT: Me. At yet another second-hand shop that day, I got Too Chatty with the salesperson ringing me up and was hit with the Gen Z stare. I have to say, that stare is a power move: I immediately felt wrong for offering information they never asked for/becoming my mother.

Tell me what you hated this week!