What's IN/OUT this week

I was going to try my hardest to not make this newsletter “INS/OUTS: New Orleans Edition,” but… that cannot be helped. My heart remains tangled in the Spanish moss!

IN: New spots. This was (I think) my eighth trip to New Orleans, and as much as I love revisiting old favorites, you gotta let yourself stumble across some new gems. One of those happened to be Patula, a little bistro tucked behind a sunglasses shop in the French Quarter. The wines and the food were top-notch, the location was gorgeous, and the people — wow, the folks running this spot just up-leveled the whole experience. The Chicago x New Orleans connection is STRONG. OUT: An old favorite (unfortunate!). Bacchanal has long been one of my go-to destinations in town, but the vibe has… shifted. We mentioned this to our new best friends at Patula, and they did suggest as much, saying you gotta hit it at just the right time to capture its great backyard energy. So I will simply blame it on bad timing. 

IN: A turn-down you can’t argue with. Dave wanted to spend a little extra time in a record shop, and I wasn’t in the mood. Soon after we split up — I was truly about five steps removed from him — a couple of gents started chatting me up. Fine! I don’t mind a little friendly flirting. But when they tried to get me to hang out, I had to hit them with god’s honest truth: “Fellas, this is going to be the only alone time I get on this trip.” They respected that! OUT: A mis-match you can’t argue with. The gentlemen did call me out on wearing a pair of Nike sneakers with Adidas pants. They did not respect that!

IN: “If it ain’t sloppy, it ain’t good.” This very sound advice came from an Uber driver, in reference to the food you get at the back of convenience stores. We didn’t get around to the spot he recommended, but we did try yaka mein on a second line route and… man. That had no right to be so good. It’s a beef noodle soup with shrimp, some green onion, a hard-boiled egg, and the richest broth I’ve ever tasted. OUT: The crazy Buck Moth caterpillar that stung Dave during the parade. We were being so careful to not step on them when we first arrived — they’re kind of cute! — but it turns out they are not fuzzy. Those are venom-filled spines. New Orleans, if this is your effort to deter me from moving there, it is not working and I will learn to love their evil ways.

IN: The dumbest souvenir. Dave and I stopped dead in our tracks in front of an ornament shop in the Quarter because the display window was filled with gay mermen. We walked in with every intention of buying one for a friend, but wound up dazzled by the options and instead got a real estate mer-agent for ourselves. The entire transaction was hysterical: The clerk went on and on about how these are hugely sought-after collectables that gain value upon retirement. He then started name-dropping Christmas ornament brands as though were fellow seasonal decoration enthusiasts. We obviously nodded and murmured knowingly, then threw down $60 for “Open House.” OUT: The saddest return. Our merman is sitting in a bag in the office, the one vestige of our fantastic trip. I hate leaving New Orleans, but this time it (caterpillar) stung especially hard. When we first got down there, I told Dave that we should consider making it an annual trip and he sort of scoffed. By the end, he was telling every bartender, “See you next year!” I got him right where I want him (generally considering it).

Tell me what you hated this week!