What's IN/OUT this week

IN: Hot girls in unexpected cars. I am not a Car Person. I bought my first car at age 36 after not driving for 10 years. I chose my little Mazda by Googling “small SUV good for city.” I test drove exactly two cars while my friend Vince harassed the salesman who was stuck in the backseat. But that doesn’t mean I can’t respect the ladies who can cook behind the wheel. This week I saw a beautiful woman with incredible gray, swoopy hair driving a black Corvette T-top (am I using the right phrase for that feature??), and just now I watched a very pretty young woman confidently navigate a rusting, unmarked white van. May both their days be blessed. OUT: Limited street parking. I got home around 10 p.m. Monday night and drove around for 20 minutes or more trying to find parking. There’s roadwork happening all over, plus the city booted a bunch of cars in my neighborhood — so the rest of us got screwed. I’d just spent the evening with friends, talking about good breathing habits — only to take shallow, hot breaths through my little flared bull nostrils until I gave up and parked in a school zone.

IN: Being a little oblivious! Sometimes you gotta beep-boop shut the old brain computer down and be a dummy in yoga: stepping forward with your left foot when the teacher cued the right foot. I love going to a class and giving the instructor 70% of my attention, tops. I will either rely on muscle memory or blissfully get something backward/wrong. I misinterpreted a cue in class the other day and thought it was time to get into savasana. I laid back to find myself at the instructor’s feet, as he was clearly about to give me an adjustment in forward fold. I did some little leg stretches like I meant to do that. Sorry, David! OUT: Instrumental pop music covers. I’ve been to some yoga classes, weddings, and nail salons that insist on playing jazzy, instrumental covers of Top 40 hits. I cannot space out when you are bumping a slowed-down, new age version of Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida.” I never wanted that song stuck in my head but I am incapable of not locking in and mentally filling in all the lyrics.

IN: Pulling back. I want to do every single possible activity in the summer. If you throw it out there, I want IN. But there are times when you just do not have enough gas left in the tank to get your sleepy ass downtown to see Digable Planets play a free show in the park. I realize other people understand this inherently, but some of us are self-destructively extroverted. OUT: Work events after work. Speaking of no gas left in the tank, going to a work event after putting in a solid eight or so hours on the job should be an OSHA violation. Do you think people in Europe are doing this? Absolutely not. Find me one Miguel in Barcelona sharing a bowl of marcona almonds and a cheap glass of sauvignon blanc with his colleagues a mere HOUR after wrapping up a Slack call with those same colleagues. Even if it’s a great event, I need a little separation in my day, bueno? 

IN: Hanging back in the group chat. Sometimes it’s a pleasure to just watch your friends gab and not bother trying to either jump in. Look at them go! All their little quips and stickers and reactions. I want to kiss all your emojis on the head. I’m bad at being a passive participant in real-life conversations (this is me waiting to riff), so it’s nice to practice in the digital realm. If we’re on a group chat and I’ve gone unusually quiet, know that I SEE you and am basking in the blue glow of your energy. OUT: Taking too long to text me back in the private chat. There are rules to follow and respect to give when we’re doing a one-on-one text!!!

Tell me what you hated this week!