What's IN/OUT this week

I took Labor Day off (I am a union of one), and having only four workdays this week feels like magic. Who knew we would all function better with a longer weekend? A lot of research, probably — and I’m sure I’ll write about it eventually. Speaking of magic: Thank you to everyone who put the good word out about this newsletter! We’re well on our way to my goal of 50 new subscribers and 10 new paid subscriptions this month. The Hater’s Guide truly cannot happen without (*PBS voice*) viewers like you.

IN: Dressing like an overheated old man at home. I love to put on some shorts, a bra, and leave my shirt unbuttoned while I roam around with my coffee. Why would I get all covered up in the comfort of my own home? I once saw a tweet that read, “You either have naked neighbors or you are the naked neighbor.” I don’t have any naked neighbors. OUT: Not being able to wear perfect 80-degree outfits. This summer was 90 degrees or hotter. In the last week, temperatures suddenly plunged to the 60s-70s. There is a chunk of my wardrobe that works perfectly within the 78-85 degree range (specific, I know), meaning some outfits we rarely — if ever — worn this summer. What radicalized me to fight climate change? That one mid-length jersey dress in gray that I can only wear when it’s hot but not too sweaty out.

IN: Water. Specifically, natural bodies of the stuff. (Highly recommend J Wortham’s recent post: “a brief catalogue of my favorite summer waters.”) My friend Jessica and I spent Labor Day with the ladies of the lake — the older gals who frequent the Hyde Park spot I mentioned in last week’s INS/OUTS. I swam out to what’s left of the 1914 shipwreck again, and the water was much clearer. I was able to see quite a bit of the boiler and some other bits. It felt incredibly eerie — until I learned that the Silver Spray didn’t meet its demise all that dramatically. It sort of just got stuck. When the ship ran aground, most of the crew stayed aboard and finished making stew. It took about three days for the ship to actually begin sinking (no casualties or injuries), and the debris that washed ashore was used to make bonfires on the beach. So instead of a horrifying tale of death, destruction, and maybe Kate Winslet, we have what sounds like a mid-tier party boat. OUT: Learning about this spot at the end of summer. The memories I could have made with the gals! Betsy and I only just professed our love for one another!! She was saying goodbye to our little group, and tossed in a casual “Love you guys!” I very (uncasually) yelled back I LOVE YOU!!! God, am I desperate.

IN: Vaccines. There are 400 reasons to feel overwhelmed by the news on any given day. Lately, in the midst of it all, everything happening around vaccines has been making me feel particularly insane: the reduction in access, the removal of state vaccine mandates — all of it. Suddenly, getting a seasonal flu shot somehow feels like being part of ~The Resistance~. But I swear to god, if anyone hands me a bandaid with Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s portrait, I will pledge allegiance to Canada so fast. OUT: RFK Jr., of course. The deranged husband of Cheryl Hines makes me furious, and reading the takeaways from Thursday’s Senate hearing with the secretary almost made me smash every dish in the pantry. Yes, America should be healthy. (I can’t, in good conscience, suggest we make America healthy “again” when you consider past errors like lead paint, children working in mines, and formaldehyde in milk.) But we have a real knack for offering unhelpful solutions to real problems. Imagine I said you needed to improve your focus, then used a miter saw to lower the height of your chair.

IN: Being a little weirdo, a little freak. Two specific things have brought this up lately. First, I’m reading To Smithereens by Rosalyn Drexler, which is such a freaky little book from the ’70s. It’s about a woman who becomes a pro wrestler, her self-serious art critic boyfriend (they meet because he tries to touch her thigh during a movie), and all the wacky people in their circles. It’s less about plot and far more about a bunch of weirdos. I also ran across a “missing” sign for an ant. Someone had this goofy idea and they executed it because… why not? OUT: Self consciousness. Nothing fun, funky, or freaky comes from being too self conscious or purposeful. Let the latter half of this year be the season of the freak. If you think it would be a gas to throw a party only for people who were born on even days of the month (the Even Event), or to record a CD of sneezes and sell it on the street, I think you should. There is not nearly enough whimsy in the world.

What did you hate this week? Leave a comment on this web post, or reply to this email to chat with me directly!