What's IN/OUT this week

Happy corn season to you all. This is the time of year when I suddenly begin learning corn facts, thanks in large part to many of my friends who grew up in close proximity to corn fields: next door to corn fields, surrounded by corn fields, perhaps even underneath corn fields. I could be a little off on the exact location because, unfortunately, I am not ALL EARS. 🌽🌽🌽 (Bet they don’t have jokes like these in the country!!!)

IN: Comedians in prom-like formalwear. A clip from Mary Beth Barone’s new Netflix special came across my timeline, and I paused largely because she was wearing what I can only describe as early 2000s homecoming couture. And I applaud this. I don’t know if this particular outfit was part of her comedy routine, but I like the idea of wearing what you would consider your most unwearable item of clothing to participate in your biggest accomplishment. Picture me in a rich widow’s robe while I finally finish my taxes. OUT: Data-harvesting disguised as news. I just learned the phrase “pink slime journalism,” which describes partisan networks that pretend to be local news outlets. They have names like “DeKalb Times” or “Peach State Post” — basically anything that sounds like the town newspaper in a jaunty 1940s musical. BUT, these fake news sites actually promote partisan agendas and gather user data. Just one more thing you’ll have to warn your mom about.

IN: Little girls riding scooters. I would read a 2,500-word essay on why, in the last five years, everywhere I look there are tiny girls zooming ahead of their parents on scooters. I am an enormous fan of the energy they are bringing to the sidewalk, with their little helmets that are slightly too heavy and their dirty Crocs propelling them forward. And these speed demons somehow never get in your way. Put them all in office in 20 years!! OUT: Adult men riding scooters. In Dockers, no less! Sir: You look a fool.

IN: Jack Johnson. I am as surprised as you are by this one, but I guess he is having a moment. And, boy, the way I fell backwards in time when I saw the photos of him playing concerts in flip flops. I then had to rack my brain to remember if I high-fived Jack Johnson, Michael Franti, or Ben Harper at a concert when I was 20. Anyhow, this description of his music by The New York Times’ John Hendrickson is perfect: “His catalog of unassuming beach pop is a staple at many a white-walled brunch spot where drinks come in Mason jars. ‘Banana Pancakes,’ his song about, among other things, the tyranny of getting out of bed, has more than 750 million streams on Spotify.” OUT: The wrong amount of shrimp for the price that I am paying. I saw the below Instagram post from The Onion and couldn’t agree more because I have personally paid $22.95 only to be served four shrimp. I do not care if they are jumbo shrimp, that is still $5.75 per shrimp. (The connection between Jack Johnson and shrimp, by the way, is the ocean.) 

IN: Corn indentation in the butter. The signs of summer are, in no particular order: fireflies, linen clothes, carrying a sweat rag, bruises on your legs (usually from bike riding but who knows), craving ice cream 24/7, and a stick of butter with corn cob indentations. OUT: Corn cob holders. These were ubiquitous in my childhood (the ones that looked like tiny corn cobs) but somehow disappeared as I aged. Have I just come to accept gingerly holding hot corncobs with my fingertips as a part of life?

Tell me what you hated this week!