What's IN/OUT this week

Dave told me that people are posting photos from 10 years ago on Instagram. I made fun of it and then immediately looked at what photos I have from 2016 (just curious!). Turns out I made a pretty impressive pancake shaped like the Love Symbol after Prince died that April of that year. Sad, but inspired.

IN: Steelers, Mike Tomlin, etc. This isn’t “in” as far as, you know, remaining in the playoffs or being employed by the team. But just know that I still love them both, despite what happened to Steeler Nation this past week. OUT: Being hypocritical. I am still reeling from an insane newsletter sent by a well-regarded local restaurant last weekend. In it, the proprietor (DM me, I’ll tell you who) goes on and on about how they are anti-NFL and how they’ve always actively taken a stance against the organization. And then — lol! — they went on to say that, actually, they’re all in on the Chicago Bears right now because it’s just so nice to see the community come together around the team! Also — LOL! — they have some Bears-related specials they’d like you to purchase! Oh, and one more thing — LMAO!!!! — they’ll actually be at the impossible-to-score-tickets-to playoff game!! Amazing to watch people promptly suspend their moral stance in the name of community commerce.

IN: An egg piercer. I am not normally in favor of a single-use kitchen tool, but this stupid little poker is the exception. After Dave was disrespected by some hard-boiled eggs who refused to undress cleanly, he ordered this device. The contraption just stabs a teeny hole through the eggshell, then some science happens while it boils and you’re left with an easy-to-peel egg. Gorgeous. OUT: Being proud of my skincare routine. I’ve been feeling quite high and mighty about sticking with my (extremely minimal) anti-aging routine. As I was gently massaging a pea-sized amount of cream into my fine lines character yesterday evening, I glanced down at the tube and absently thought, “Kind of odd the retinol packaging isn’t in English.” Turns out I’ve been smearing eczema cream that I picked up in Bologna all over my face. Smooth skin, smoother brain.

IN: Tahini granola. I have a phenomenal, easy recipe for you! Whip it up and serve over plain, full-fat yogurt with a little fruit or jam — it’ll make your morning. The recipe is below. OUT: The child playing the marimba on the second floor of my building. This kid is so sweet — truly! But I cannot stand hearing the same song played by his mallet-wielding fists 40 times in a row at 7:30 in the Good Lord’s morning. Oh, what song is it, you ask? It’s Colors of the Wind from Disney’s Pocahontas. We are running the hidden pine trails of my last nerve.

IN: This little desk calendar my mom’s friend gifted me. I didn’t intend to keep it, because I didn’t really see its purpose. But I opened it up, saw that January has a lemon illustration, and I was sold (IYKYK). Seeing a calendar with no events, tasks or reminders — just harmless numbers floating in a grid pattern — is like an ice-cold sip of Champagne for this over-scheduled crone. OUT: How movement words have trickled into everyday topics. You want to “decenter” your phone or “abolish” screen time? Unfortunately, we already focused our use of those words on the patriarchy and police, so now I can’t figure out how serious we are about anything. I keep getting my heart rate up because you said “radical,” but then it was followed by “meal-planning.”

Tahini granola:

• 1 ½ cups old-fashioned oats 

• 1 ½ cups mixed raw nuts (walnuts, almonds, cashews — seeds like pepitas are also good!)

• 1 cup unsweetened coconut flakes

• ¼ cup pure maple syrup

• ¼ cup tahini

• 2 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

• 1¼ tsp. kosher salt

• ½ tsp. ground cardamom or cinnamon (I use both. You should use bot.h)

Preheat oven to 300°. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper or foil. Toss oats, nuts, and coconut in a large bowl. Whisk maple syrup, tahini, oil, salt, and cardamom in a medium bowl until combined. Pour tahini syrup over nut mixture and toss with a spatula until evenly coated. Scrape onto prepared sheet. 

Bake granola, tossing and rotating sheet every 10–15 minutes, until golden brown, 30–35 minutes total.

Let cool on baking sheet (granola will crisp as it cools), about 20 minutes. Store in an airtight container.

Tell me what you hated this week!