What's IN/OUT this week

Hello and welcome — somehow — to the latter half of August. Let me begin by expressing my deep gratitude for this gif that The New York Times included with its morning newsletter on Tuesday. Every time a clanker falls, my hating heart grows stronger.

IN: Promo days. I’ve never been to a Chicago Dogs game, but yesterday my friend Vince and I drove out to Rosemont (for the non-Chicagoans: this is where O’Hare Airport is) because we learned that Wednesdays are $1 hot dog and $2.50 beer nights. I like to have a little extra nudge to check something out, and food or a deal will usually do it. The only beers included in the promo were Miller Lite and Coors Light, and the hot dogs were on the thinner side — but it was 300% worth it. The field is wedged between the highway and airport runways, so prepare to take in deep breaths of exhaust. And the team’s mascots are suspect. Squeeze, a yellow monster meant to resemble a mustard bottle, sported a dingy costume. And Ketchup wears a partially open trench coat, as though he’s about to flash you. Incredible stuff, folks! The game itself was brutal to watch, so we brainstormed ways to bring a little more pizazz to the fans. For instance: We place a microphone stand in the middle of the outfield. If your seat number is called, you get to walk out during play and ask any player(s) a question. I, for one, would like to know what eight-month jobs these guys are holding down because the season only lasts from May to early September — and they are not paid well. OUT: Promos for only some fans. I noticed a lot of people were wearing these blue mesh Chicago Dogs hats — perhaps a giveaway? I interrupted the 15-year-olds flirting at the merch booth to ask what the deal was, and it turns out they’re only for people who purchased group tickets. So I’m being shamed for showing up with only one person?? That is social discrimination!! If the Chicago Dogs people are reading this (unlikely), I would like a public apology by way of one free hat!!!

IN: Voice notes. OK, this is a big work-in-progress “IN” for me. I received a deluge of very thoughtful voice notes about the meaning of culture from three friends in the group chat on Monday evening. I didn’t have the bandwidth to listen until the following day, and it started to feel like a missed deadline. But I understand why people like voice notes as a conversational vehicle: Sometimes you are musing on something and need to get it out to the world post haste. Unfortunately, my brain doesn’t digest audio content as smoothly as it does the written word (also why podcasts can be tricky for me). Because recordings allow me to multitask, my mind believes it also has the space to respond in real time — rather than just digest it as I would a text, book, or article, then leave my reaction for post-consumption. Anyhow, sweet Lindsey — my brother-in-arms on the late response — eventually left us all a voice note that was actually a recorded MP3 (GOD BLESS) that beautifully described the depth and length of her coworker’s bathroom fart. 🤌 OUT: Video calls. I’ve been a journalist for some time now, and once upon a time it was perfectly acceptable to handle remote interviews via phone. Something happened during the pandemic where Zoom — the Greek god of things that could have been an email — became the default form of remote communication. I was nursing a headache this morning during an interview, and found myself apologizing for keeping my camera off. But why should it matter? It’s considered near-rude to not show your face these days. But I want to focus on what you’re saying — which is hard to do when I’m also subtly rearranging my hair because I can see too much of my own forehead on my camera.

IN: Dog daycare. I am trying to better socialize Dottie now that she doesn’t have Wrigley at home (even if he did ignore her the entire time). It’s also nice to have a little extra time where I can be out of the apartment, not worrying about when I should get back to her. OUT: Coffee shops not offering decaf. I stopped at a nearby La Colombe before picking Dottie up in the late afternoon. Because of my weak old constitution, I cannot drink caffeine after about noon. The barista told me they don’t offer decaf drip coffee, but they do have decaf espresso. I do not know what drinks you can make with espresso, please don’t make me figure this out!! I panicked and ordered a matcha latte (I know! It also has caffeine!). Maybe I should start working at a diner, where some nice lady will call me sweetheart and ask if I “need a warm-up” for my bottomless, mediocre decaf.

IN: Sending me little trivia questions. Apparently a lot of you participate in trivia leagues. Because I’m deeply averse to having regular weekly events on my calendar, I do not wish to be included. I do, however, enjoy when you text me your favorite questions. Jamie sent me a good one recently: Other than Bob and Ziggy Marley, which child/parent combo has both the highest record sales in their home country plus a child who has won a Grammy? You gotta leave a comment or email me to find out, my friends. OUT: Life trivia. Will I really have time to complete my 500 assignments on time? Am I confident that our upcoming vacation is properly planned? Will I opt for an aperitivo over going for a run? Literally no one knows!!!

What did you hate this week? Leave a comment on this web post, or reply to this email to chat with me directly!