What's IN/OUT this week

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Happy Friday, Haters. I’m at the coffee shop wearing a pair of vintage Gloria Vanderbilt jorts that are riding up HARD because they are 100% denim and 0% give. I’ve mostly eschewed jorts this summer, but my Glorias are so hard not to love. The zipper fly is like 15 inches long!

IN: Doing your art, just because it’s fun. I recently learned about a guy at the Logan Square Farmer’s Market who does terrible portraits for $5. I’m a firm believer in doing things for the love of the game; being creative for creativity’s sake. We get such a kick out of it when kids make us terrible drawings, and the kids are thrilled to do it. Why can’t we carry this on as we age? Do you know how jazzed I would be if a friend handed me a crudely drawn picture of a horse and was like, “I made this for you”??? Just as I treasure children’s art, I would also throw out my friend’s drawing after the requisite one-week guilt period. OUT: Having a good voice at karaoke. Ughhhhhh. There is nothing worse than the people with really good voices and zero charisma at karaoke. These are the ones who clearly did choir in high school or were encouraged too much by grandma to “let the world hear their voice.” These folks have zero stage presence. It’s a snoozefest to watch someone stand perfectly still while they hit every note of an Adele song. We get it! Move on so the guy who is tone deaf can do high kicks to Jefferson Starship.

IN: Baseball games. Baseball is maybe my third favorite sport, but I absolutely love goin’ to a ballgame. We live a little over a mile from Wrigley Field and it’s such a pleasure to know we can just bop over whenever. A summer afternoon or evening at a classic ballpark?? THESE COLORS DON’T RUN!!! Just kidding, not even a hot dog in the bleacher seats can summon the patriot inside me. Also: The standing ovation for a servicemember is pure propaganda. I salute only the beer vendors who hit the stairs with 70 pounds of Bud Light strapped to them. OUT: The price of a ticket. When I first moved to Chicago, the Cubs were terrible and I could snag a $5 resale ticket. As much as I love to see a packed stadium and watch a good team, it still pains me to spend more than $25 on a seat.

IN: At-home sundaes. I am FERAL in the summer and need to do summery things or else I will perish. This includes eating ice cream. I’ve started grabbing whatever fruit is in season at the farmer’s market, zhuzhing it up in some way, and serving it over a little vanilla Häagen-Dazs that I grab from the liquor store. We’d recently finished a jar of Luxardo maraschino cherries, but there was plenty of syrup left. I chopped up a bunch of sour cherries and let them soak for a couple of days, then served the cherries and syrup over ice cream with crumbles of my favorite chocolate shortbread cookie. LUXURY. I am honestly thinking of buying a special ice cream cup/bowl just to really up level my experience. OUT: Mosquitos. They’re my biggest complaint about my favorite season!! But I refuse to forgo evenings on the deck/patio/yard because of them. I have two great anti-mosquito hacks to share. No. 1: Bug repellant wipes (I can vouch for these). The wipes mean you don’t have to spray Off! all over someone’s dinner and, inevitably, in your own mouth (just me?). Plus, they’re easy to toss into a pocket or purse. No. 2: Bug Bite Thing. This only works if you notice pretty immediately that a skeeter bit you. If you let a bite go until the next morning, it’s too late and we’ll all miss you.

IN: Guys being dudes!!! I could sit and watch straight cis guys — ones who legitimately enjoy one another’s company — for hours. They are giddy and can only comfortably show it with back slaps, ribbing one another, and sharing old stories. I got home around midnight last weekend and a bunch of guys that Dave used to play baseball with were still hanging out on our deck. They were in full dude mode and everyone squealed that a GIRL was HOME!!! I stayed up for exactly one drink and got to hear them reminisce about old teammates, lament that the internet… exists, I think?, and menu plan for their fantasy football draft party. You cannot convince me they don’t all have crushes on each other!!! OUT: The smell of stale beer and cigarette butts the next morning. When a man leaves my home, he should leave it in better shape than when he entered. Or otherwise leave a $20 bill on the counter.

What did you hate this week? Leave a comment on this web post, or reply to this email to chat with me privately!